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The Word 17 (Disk 2 of 2).adf
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06-mediocrity.txt
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06-mediocrity.txt
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1998-01-06
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114 lines
$163|1-Presenting....
$361|1-Daniel Thornton`s
$abc|2-Celebration
$361|1-of
$abc|2-Mediocrity
$fff
This article is the result of years of intense research* into finding
the most mediocre things on earth. This is only volume one in a series
of 998 articles, and here are the first results....
*a lie
|1-Category One....
|1-Television
$f00|1-Most mediocre...
$0f0|1-Television channel
$0ff|1-1st...Anglia Television
$fff 2nd...Challenge TV
3rd...The Computer Channel
$ff4Anglia television won this award easily, as their output is the most
mediocre in the world. A typical Sunday afternoon`s schedule often
looks something like this...
2.00 Highway to Heaven
3.00 The Village Show - a visit to lots of small villages - in
Norfolk!
3.30 The Antiques Programme
4.00 Anglia Business News - for those who ENJOY doing work at
the weekends
4.30 Bygone Days
5.00 Wildlife Rescue
**********
$f00|1-Most mediocre...
$0f0|1-Sitcom
$0ff|1-1st...Oh Doctor Beeching!
$fff 2nd...Blooming Marvelous
3rd...The Upper Hand
$ff4Oh Doctor Beeching won easily because it is that rarity of sitcoms in
that in none of the scripts has there ever been a single joke. Everyone
hates it, yet the BBC will definitely give it a new series, as they
think its writers are geniuses.
*************
$f00|1-Most mediocre...
$0f0|1-Television Presenter
$0ff|1-1st...Eammon Holmes
$fff 2nd...Jimmy Hill
3rd...Jeremy Clarkson
$ff4Eammon Holmes quickly grew from being the slightly tubby presenter of
mediocre TV show GMTV, to being the slightly tubby, never humourous,
presenter-for-all-occasions. Whenever a TV channel is short of a
presenter for a mediocre TV show, Eammon`s there, with his jolly Irish
accent, ready to present anything, whether he has a clue about the
subject involved or not.
*************
$ff0
Right, that`s the TV one done. Time to work on some new ones. If
anyone else wants to do mediocrity celebrations, feel free. I don`t
care.
$fff
end